Only Mediocre Minds Nitpick.

No self-confident, intelligent or handsome person will ever nitpick anyone else ever. Nitpicking is for soyboys and women only. Nitpicking ultimately includes any "correction," real or imagined of non-essential nature.

I'm not just saying "You're a soyboy if you do this," I'm saying: "Only soyboys even have the desire to do this." If you ever even feel tempted to nitpick someone about anything, you need to immediately go take a natural nude sunbath or stop drinking from plastic bottles because you need to increase your testosterone levels ASAP.

Here's Gigachad.


Look at that man.

Can you imagine a man with that physiognomy saying, "AKSHUALLY, you shouldn't say 'to boldly go,' but say 'to go boldly.' It's not grammatical to split infinitives!"

No millionaire with a supermodel girlfriend is ever going to feel the need to evoke some imaginary grammar rule invented by middle-school English teachers to show someone off. This is the kind of person who would though:

Eric Butts

Nitpicking is social anklebiting. The people who do it don't do it because they are honestly attempting to exchange actually important information. They do it because in their tourtured psyche, it somehow sticks it to someone they don't like.

One immutable thing about people with a chip on their shoulder is that they are constantly looking for some technicality that proves to themselves that they are actually smarter than people obviously superior to them. This is what nitpicking is. Revenge of the Nerds.

A political aside

This is also why even apart from any political issue, bugmen/journalists/middle managers hate Trump. Trump has been a mere cringe conservaboomer, but he has a chad personality type that is devoid of pretense. The media is used to stumping other politicians on details, asking "gotcha" questions and "fact-checking" their responses. All nitpicking. Trump has never cared and bullied them in return.

Mediocre people lose it when someone doesn't rise to their disingenuious taunts. Look how self-deluded the media is nowadays, how deep they follow their own lies. That's what you look like when you nitpick. You're fundamentally making an issue that no-one cares about because they all implicitly know it doesn't matter even if they don't have the vocabulary to call your out directly on it.

Speaking about soyboys...

I remember when we starting bullying effete "men" calling them soyboys on the internet. All of the sudden, every soyboy news outlet started publishing articles defending soy consumption or trying to say that "Um ACHHUALLY, soy doesn't necessarily increase your estrogen levels!"

Sheer retardation. These responses were cherrypicking data anyway, but imagine responding to being bullied with some alledgedly factual nitpick. It's like a kid in middle school says, "Your mom's gay," and you respond saying, "Well ACKUALLY I am living proof that my mother isn't gay!"

I shouldn't need to explain that the insult could've just as well been açaiboys or something else they consoooomed.

Reading groups

I first realized this eternal truth about nitpicking at graduate school. I'm ashamed to admit it's a story that involves me nitpicking.

In grad school, aside from classes you might often volunteer to participate in reading groups, which is basically you and a group of people meet once a week to discuss a recent or historical paper or book of import.*


One week, I was too lazy to read our article for discussion, so 30 minutes before our meeting I started skimming it, then read the first page or so in depth. Normally I would be a productive participant, so I felt expected to give my input, but when the time came in the group, I found myself relentlessly nitpicking some (ultimately unimportant) experimental design on the first page. After hammering it for several minutes, one of my friends reminded me, "Yeah, I don't think that's really the point..." I shut up. He was right.

I was nitpicking because I had nothing important to say, but had to prove myself in some way. Especially as my time in grad school of all places went on, I found that other people ended up doing the same kind of thing all the time. People focus on unimportant details only when unimportant details are the only things they understand. A lot of bad papers, bad ideas and the like started to make sense (at least in terms of motivation) to me then.

*Yes, nitpicking forgeiners who don't actually know English but like to constantly email or PR me "corrections." The phrase "of import" is not a mistake for "of importance".

When women nitpick.

Nitpicking is more excusable for women to do. That's ultimately because men talk to others exchange important information, while women only talk to others for social negotiation and to test the social standing of others.

Women will nitpick men to access their self-value. I'll give you a grade-A "Red-Pill"®️ "lifehack": no woman will respect a man that takes a woman's taunt or nitpick as anything other than a taunt or nitpick. If you ever respond to something like that with, "Oh Jeez... sorry honey, you're right," you might as well be walking around "DOPE" written on your forehead.

Hopefully in any affair you can distinguish "nitpicks" from "things that actually matter." Maybe not, if you have the 'tism and you're high on your own supply.

The dishonesty of nitpicking

Nitpicking is so cringe because it is social striving that masquerades as important information. It never deceives anyone but the one who does it. It's mostly just awkward to be around when someone nitpicks someone else because you're just wondering, "Does this guy realize how much of a presumptious dweeb he is?"

Again, I won't tell you not to do this, just recognize that if you are tempted to, you have other underlying feelings of inferiority to deal with. Go increase your testosterone by living a natural life.

This article was proudly written without spelcheck.